Only a congenital masochist enjoys being criticized. Our ideas are personal. Our questions are legitimate, no matter how obvious the answers may be. There's no fun in voicing a thought when that thought is brushed off or treated as nonsense.
Such is your fate as a newbie adult webmaster. You come to us on message boards. You ask us questions. You tell us your ideas and business plans. Quite often, your brilliant scheme is shot down in the first reply. Your honest question is answered with the terse response:
"Do a board search".
How you react to our supposed callousness tells a lot about you.
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"The only way you're going to shine is through a process of chipping off the useless remnants that dull you. Taking a defensive stance will not serve you well." |
Granted, of all the adult webmaster message boards, Cozy Campus is the friendliest and least cruel. There are webmasters that call us "The Baby Board". However, do not mistake civility and patience with coddling. We are not here to tell you sweet lies like your momma did. We'll give you the truth and the truth does not play favorites.
We are professionals that make a living in an industry without a manual or degree program. The things we know we learned through trial and error. We too, had our brilliant ideas that failed. We too, have asked questions that now seem silly. We've been where you are and moved on. We have no intention of reinforcing your misguided assumptions. You come to us a diamonds in the rough. The only way you're going to shine is through a process of chipping off the useless remnants that dull you. Taking a defensive stance will not serve you well.
Nice lady. She told you that you were the smartest, prettiest child that was ever born. She soothed you when the other kids treated you mean. She gave you cookies when you cried because you didn't get picked to play softball. She stood there, hands on hips, and defended you bravely when teachers were unfair. That was her job. It's called positive reinforcement and it's quite necessary for young malleable minds. When we're little we need someone telling us that we are good and that we can do anything we want. That way, when we become adults, we have the self-confidence to face the cold, harsh world.
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You're not a little kid anymore. You're an adult, venturing into the most adult profession there is. Porn is extremely competitive and those that refuse to get with the program end up in the dust. There's no time for whining or hissy fits. Keep your troubles and your nervous breakdowns to yourself because the market doesn't care.
Nobody is going to waste one minute on your hurt feelings. No one is going to pull you up out of the muck. You have to scratch your way out of your own crises. If one of your ideas bombs, then so be it. If one of your important questions is laughed at, get over it. You're a grownup now. Mom isn't going to give you any hugs because the other pornographers told you that your genius concept won't work.
The bottom line is, if you can't stand the heat, then don't ask. The fact is, every adult webmaster's first site sucks. Every newbie's question has already been asked and answered a hundred thousand times. 99.9% of all newbies think they're going to revolutionize Internet porn. Maybe 10% of them end up making substantial money. The ones that remain butthurt when they're given the skinny, disappear. We're not your mom. We are adult webmasters and we know what works and what doesn't.
For all our tough talk, adult webmasters are some of the most generous people your will ever know. Do you think oil magnates log onto message boards and dole out sage advice to newbs? Would your friendly college professor be so helpful if your weren't paying to take his class? The adult Internet community is rather extraordinary. When you come to us, we tell you what you need to hear. If you listen to what we tell you and follow our suggestions (mainly, work your ass off) you're going to make money. We dole out our the wisdom for free. I challenge you to name one other successful industry that helps the newbies so willingly.
So, leave the pissy baby act behind and come to us as a fully-formed adult, capable of taking criticism. We may be curt. We might even be rude but we know what we're talking about. When you start flaming us for our honesty, it's like blood in the water. We turn into sharks. You'll be eaten alive without ever having learned a thing.