We know you're there. Lurking. We have server stats you know. We see all you recurring-but-not-joining visitors. We feel you. You come to the boards and you just read, thread after thread. You never sign up and so you never post. What's up with that? You don't like us? Are you afraid of us? Are we really that obnoxious?
|
"As stated, the first post is often where the newbie fails. Your first post is no different than the in-person kind." |
I suppose we adult webmasters can be a right nasty bunch. But we're no worse than any heavy metal fan board or anime board, for that matter. This is the Interwebs, after all. People get to hide behind monitors from undisclosed locations. These are human beings, after all. Humans beings can be a right nasty bunch, especially when they're anonymous. Why does the executioner wear a mask?
Come back! Don't run off. You're going to return eventually. Just stay and listen to reason. There's really no justifiable purpose to hiding away from the very community that supports you. We're gruff. We're rude. We have an abundance of assholes. But we also know how to make money doing what we do. We know what it's like to be that normal, everyday person who decides to sell porn on the Internet. We may be snarky bastards but we're certainly not going to condemn you for choosing to promote what we believe is a legitimate, respectable product. When morality groups, local law enforcement and our governments are against your efforts, we might just be the only friends you'll have. Working alone, in front of a monitor, is isolating enough. Doing it while trying to maintain a "socially acceptable" front can be downright maddening. Go visit any parenting board and tell them you sell sex on the net and see how much sympathy you get.
Here's the deal. If you lurked on any adult webmaster message boards before, you've probably noted that newbies tend to make mistakes with the very first post. The newbie is then subjected to a few inflammatory posts from veteran board members. Call it hazing, if you will. The point is, you don't have to make newbie mistakes. You can join and begin posting on a board without fucking up. Instead of cowering in fear or trying to figure out what is and isn't allowed by reading other people's posts, continue reading this article. This is how you ease yourself onto and adult webmaster message board:
Most message boards require that you sign up for the privilege of posting. Adult boards are no different. We don’~t charge money. Join a board. Fill out the online form. Use a real email address because that's where the board sends your membership confirmation. When you confirm your membership, log into your account and fill out your profile. We don't need your real name. Your nickname is fine with us. At least add something else besides your user name to your profile. A life story is not necessary. If you already have a website, put that in your profile. Fill out the 'interests' field if you want. If you wish to designate your country and/or city, it's all good. A blank profile is not friendly. Board members look at profiles, most absolutely for newbies. An empty profile is off-putting. It makes you look like you have something to hide.
The first post is always the most painful. Get it over with. Either write a post, introducing yourself, or join in on another member's thread. If you plan to open with an introductory post, lay off the textiness. We're as quickly bored as any other geek. After four paragraphs, our eyes blur. Say hello. Tell us who your are and why you've joined the community. For god's sake, DON'T SPAM. If your first post consists of your name and then 500 words about the fabulous company you work for, that's SPAM. If your first post is nothing but a full-page-ad for your paysite or sponsor or design company, well, some boards will move your posts. Some will ban you then and there. Look at the front page of the massage board. 9 times out of 10, there is more than one FORUM, specializing in various topics. 90% of adult webmaster message boards have a FORUM dedicated to SPAM and ANNOUNCEMENT posts. Adult webmasters won't believe you when you SPAM in post number one and then blame it on your newbie status. If you think your post is spammy, then back out of the post box and start over.
Untitled Page
If you plan to jump right in and reply to another's member's thread, this is where things like your signature file come into play. About that sig file. Did you read the rules? Each board has them. You can usually find them linked on the top menu. You can add a URL to your signature file. This file will appear at the bottom of every one of your posts. Each message board has specific regulations hen it comes to signatures. Members have been known to go wacky with sigs. Colored fonts, bold text, embedded animated images, text that fills a quarter of the window. Compose a reasonable signature. Pop-eyed trickery is for the surfers.
As stated, the first post is often where the newbie fails. Your first post is no different than the in-person kind. You can choose to introduce yourself in your own thread or you can reply in the post of a member. If you make an introductory post correctly, you'll receive a few "Welcome to the board" replies. If you explain the details of your master plan to own the adult Internet, bank on some very sarcastic responses. If you came to attack another member or drum up support for your crusade against some host or sponsor, well, good luck. Those posts usually backfire. If you came to ask a legitimate question concerning adult webmastery, that's the trickiest question of all. Chances are, your question has already been answered, like, a million times. It's cool. Chill. There are posters who will give you straight answers. Unfortunately, you'll have to wade through about twenty other name-calling, finger-pointing, mind-fucking posts to get to straight answer. Watch where you join. Some boards are a little too advanced for newbies and newbie questions.
The smartest move you can make is to hop on over to Cozy Campus. We love newbies at Cozy. Our message board is the most newbie-friendly in the business. We answer your most elementary questions because that's who we are. We are a learning board. We want you to succeed and we will hold your hand each step of the way. If you have been wanting to become part of the adult webmaster community but you're worried about the mean kids, come to Campus. We'll ease you into forum culture in no time!