As you know, we love Newbies at Cozy Frog. What's not to love? Newbies are eager to learn and anxious to try anything. They have big dreams, untarnished by years of jaded exposure to the less wonderful aspects of our business. In many ways, newbies are the perfect adult webmasters because they have yet to be smacked in the face by the limits of their potential. The folks from Cozy have racked up years of experience dealing with newbies. It is entirely possible that we know the Newbie better than the Newbie knows him/her self. We have to. Guiding Newbies through the maze is what we do and the only way to do that successfully is by reading the Newbie mind.
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"It is entirely possible that we know the Newbie better than the Newbie knows him/her self. We have to. Guiding Newbies through the maze is what we do and the only way to do that successfully is by reading the Newbie mind." |
What thoughts lurk in those hungry brains, starving for porn webmastery? What kind of questions will they ask? Which misguided preconceptions about our industry will they have? How many erroneous notions of theirs will have to be corrected? Will the Newbie be malleable and receptive to fresh ideas or rigid and unreceptive? Is that Newbie going to end up giving up or will that one outdo us all? Even jaded old veterans have been known to experience a wee bit of Newbie paranoia.
There is always the possibility that some damned Newb is going to come along and change everything - thus fucking up what already works. Each Newbie represents another fish in a busy sea. There might have been a time when adult webmasters were far and few but this is certainly not that time. If some of us had the power and authority to hang a sign on the gateway of our profession, it would read:
WE ARE NOT HIRING - ALL POSITIONS ARE FILLED
Let me guarantee, it would be a hell of a sign. I'm guessing a bold Flash animation with clear, informative graphics and probably blood. Some adult webmasters are quite adamant about Newbie-hating. A motivated adult webmaster is a dangerous thing. That is why this article is necessary. No matter how populated our vocation becomes, the Newbies will keep entering the field. As long as a porn is allowed on the commercial web, there will be Newbies.
Sex is one of the original professions. It came before most everything but farming. People have been making money from sex for almost all of human history. The Internet is a vast and uncharted medium. We have yet to scratch the surface when it comes to selling sex over networks. Our industry has suffered many setbacks but this current over-saturation of webmasters will not kill us. The Newbies will keep coming and they will keep asking Newbie questions. When so many of us were once Newbies, it's only fair to understand and tolerate them. You remember what it's like. Admit it.
Basically, there are two types of Newbie. Those two types include a few sub-categories but in the end, Newbies are delineated thusly:
First, the generic Newbie. This is a person who is new. Most adult webmasters encounter Newbies on adult webmaster message boards. If you know how message boards work, then you know that these online discussion communities tend to be wary of new people. Therefore, anyone who joins a message board is automatically a Newbie - to the board.
If you're a veteran adult webmaster, then you should be able to acclimate quickly to a new message board. If you're not a veteran adult webmaster, then you are Newbie. Period. Your previous experience means nothing and you understand this. Yes, you have much to learn. Yes, you have misconceptions. Yes, you realize that success takes patience and hard effort. Yes, you are willing to listen to our advice and apply our suggestions to your work. You have a fairly thick skin and can take the occasional rude comment gracefully. You have a respect for our industry and respect for those of us who fuel it. You are a
Newbie. Pay attention. Follow the rules. If we groan at your question it's because it's been asked a million times or there is no answer. The knowledge is out there but the key is in your hand.
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Then we have the Clueless Newbie. Haven't we all been clueless at least once? This author has. The Clueless Newbie just won't listen, for whatever reason. You tell them over and again to build galleries and small free sites and to promote sponsor programs. But no, they want to open a paysite. They want the big money, the fast money. They just want to know which pot holds the gold.
We tell them to get a domain and hosting and buy a little content and practice with some niches. But when we point out flaws such as free hosting, boring free content and lack of purpose, the Clueless Newbie shuts down and stops listening. Or worse, there is the All-Knowing Clueless Newbie. This unfortunate soul enters the picture with PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE. Maybe they were a programmer or a mainstream designer or god forbid, they were in corporate management. The All-Knowing Clueless Newbie can be the most difficult. It's hard to convince people to unlearn what they know. The adult Internet operates within its own standards and practices. The Clueless Newbie refuses to recognize this fact.
As stated, there are a few sub-categories of Newbie, aside from Newbie and Clueless Newbie. Understanding how a Newbie thinks is the simplest method of dealing with them. You can reach almost anyone if you try. It's easy to be mean and condescending, especially behind a monitor. Instead, why don't you take a moment and help a Newbie? Sometimes just providing the right URL is all it takes. If you need a URL, try this one:
http://www.cozycampus.com
Our message board is made for Newbies. Cozy Campus is the friendliest and most instructive message board for a new adult webmaster. We answer Newbie questions. We critique Newbie sites. We listen to Newbie problems. We can read the Newbie mind. We're here for Newbies. We are on the Newbie's side. If you know a Newbie, tell them that Cozy Campus is where it's at!