What? You don't like Christmas? What are you? Some kind of Scrooge? You think the Christmas season is nothing more than a conspiracy by the retailers and bankers to keep us perennially unsatisfied and forever in debt?
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"There are millions of frustrated, sex-deprived people that will spend their holidays looking for release and you are exactly their kind of Santa." |
Well, I hate to burst your ethereal bubble but guess what? You are one of those evil retailers and evil creditors process your billing. Bah Humbug, motherfucker.
If your principles are preventing you from exploiting the added profit potential of the gift-giving season, maybe it's time for you to take your stuffy little head and bash it into the nearest wall. Christmas may have religious origins but the holiday has been fully dominated by the mercantile system and consumerism knows no faith, nationality or class. If there is a meaning to Christmas, that meaning is dwarfed by the colossus of forced-family gatherings, omnipresent sale signs and ads that convince that you everything you own is obsolete. Imagine the long-married husband, stuck at the in-laws with nothing but a portable laptop and a dark bedroom, while his wife and her family yuck it up for hours in the kitchen. What will he do with his downtime? How about those horny college jocks, off for a month and half, trying to keep from going insane in their parent's house? How will they pass those monotonous days and nights? There are millions of frustrated, sex-deprived people that will spend their holidays looking for release and you are exactly their kind of Santa.
It doesn't matter if you're a big deal paysite sponsor or a lowly free site affiliate, set aside a bit of time and deck your halls. Jingle the bells on your dirty little porn page. Hang a star off your logo or stick a red cap on your hottest model. You can be tastefully classy or full-out corny, either way, your visitors and members will notice that you made the effort.
As well, you can offer holiday specials and/or display yule-theme content. If you're a gallery elf you can produce a couple week's worth of festive submissions. For you free site and paysite owners, there a many content sellers that carry images and videos with an x-mas theme. There are also wintry Flash games, stories and tangible goods that are perfect for this time of year.
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Those of you that provide content and services to adult webmasters can also join in the spirit by extending special deals that can go into effect come January 1, 2009 or now, if you want. You, that run sponsor programs can send happy merry cards to your most productive affiliates. Another thing sponsors could do is promise a sweet gadgety gift to affiliates that break a set number of sales in the next two weeks. Adult webmasters need goodwill toward them as much as anybody. Then again, the paysite/sponsor types among you would do well to render holiday attention on your paying members. Give love to both, what the hell - it's Christmas!
Whoever you are and whatever you do, do it now. The festivities will soon be over and on to the next made-up, manufactured holiday. Before you know it, the packages will be long unwrapped and the suitcases will be gathering dust once again. Those horny potential customers will go back to their busy lives and lose their cheery spirit in the muck of work and school and minutia. They won't have that what-the-hell-it's-Christmas weakness until next year. Your window of opportunity is freezing up.
Yes. Christmas time is supposed to be a celebration of the birth of the savior of a particular religion. But everyone knows that this season is really about indulgence, generosity and spending more than we can afford. Times right now are tough and there's no entertainment more economical, instantaneous and satisfying than online porn. People are having to forgo things like new cars, vacations, appliances, eating out, going out, gadgets and more. They need something that's inexpensive and keeps them warm while they pass one of the roughest winters they've had in ages. A membership to an adult site is about the same price as dinner in a nice restaurant or a trip to the movies with the popcorn and sodas. Porn site membership lasts longer and is accessible 24 hours a day. Porn won't laugh in your face when you ask to buy it a drink. Porn won't turn you down as a customer because your loan from the bank fell through. Porn is an excellent x-mas pastime for the surfer that only wants a little comfort and joy.
Throw up a few page decorations. Post a couple of naughty Santa galleries. Give a special deal to your visitors and/or members. Doing so can't hurt and a touch of fa-la-la might keep Jack Frost from nipping at your profits!