"In the morning you go gunning
For the man who stole your water" *
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"You might end up looking like a fool, harming your reputation far more than your intended target." |
You’ve been wronged. You’ve been had. Somebody owes you money. Someone took your money. Some fool is spreading lies about you. Some damned adult webmaster must pay. In the old days, men used to settle disputes with a duel or a fistfight. Later -when we got more civilized- they settled their squabbles litigiously. In this age of cyber communication, the forum is the message board.
I love message boards, particularly adult webmaster ones. They truly are a wonder in these times. I know of no other profession where underlings communicate directly with CEOs, where competitors publicly trade barbs or where a slighted person can have their case heard by their entire industry. To me they are the unspoken backbone of the adult Internet.
Message boards inform, educate, alert and entertain. There’s nothing more fun than the drama of a message board flame war. Like the proverbial car wreck we can’t help but look when one webmaster challenges another webmaster to a flame. It’s fascinating, addictive. It makes you want to join in on all the fun.
"And you fire till he is done in
But they catch you at the border" *
Say that sponsor didn’t pay you. Perhaps that designer took your money and you still have nothing to show for it. Or maybe your paid virtual server is down for the zillionth time. Whatever the reason or whomever the cause, you might be tempted to air your grievances on an industry forum. You’ve seen others do it.
Such topics draw attention and give notoriety to their creators. The goings on at an adult webmaster message board can be great publicity for the up-and-comer. You feel you have a legitimate gripe. You know you’ll get the attention you need if your bring it to the boards. Before you do, read these four questions and see if you can answer yes to all of them:
1. Did you try every other available method to contact the party with whom you have the problem?
This means every method. It doesn’t mean you sent a couple of emails or even a bunch of ICQ messages. Did you try the phone? Have you attempted to contact any other associates or co-workers of said party? People go out of town. Computers crash. Some adult webmasters receive hundreds of emails a day. Have you tried your absolute best to deal with your situation behind the scenes like a professional? Is the message board the best way or is it just the fastest?
2. Is your grievance board-worthy?
Before you go postal, think about the consequences of your actions. You might end up looking like a fool, harming your reputation far more than your intended target. Is your indictment really that important? Do you have the facts to prove your point when the backlash begins?
Be warned. There will be backlash. Is your case devastating in nature to the party with which you have the complaint? If it is and you can’t prove your point or you’re shown to be misinformed, you lose. If your concern is about money, is it a big enough amount to gamble on the chance your rant might blow up in your face?
"And the mourners are all singing
As they drag you by your feet" *
3. Are you ready for your close-up?
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If you go slinging arrows around on an adult webmaster message board, are you prepared for the outing? Viewers and detractors will dig up old posts, old pages and old message logs in order to deflect your blows. Can you take it? Taking on a fellow webmaster in a public setting will put you under the same microscopic scrutiny you expect for your prey. Can you handle it? If your enemy posts ICQ logs that disprove your claim or shows you to be an offender, can you recover?
4. Can you deal?
Do you have a sense of humor? You might need it. You might also want to learn to resist the urge to reply snidely to snide comments. Even if you have a legitimate allegation how will you handle the goober who thinks he’s a comedian? The greatest thing about message board communication is that you can lose your cool without anyone every knowing it. You can feel angry but that doesn’t mean you have to type angry. When you stir up shit on the boards, some of it always lands on you. Expect it, and be ready to turn it in your favor.
"But the hangman isn't hanging
And they put you on the street" *
Look, nobody is telling you to shut your mouth. Your situation may be legitimate. You may have tried every way you could to get your party to resolve your dilemma. You could be owed money or in a serious position as a result of the offending party’s action/inaction. The best thing about the adult Internet community is that cheaters, thieves, liars and fools are exposed on a regular basis because of the message board system.
We’re just trying to warn you that the life of the message board warrior is not an easy one. You do have other avenues. If your sponsor is giving you trouble, contact their processor. If a webmaster is stealing your TGP list, contact their host and their sponsors. If a designer stiffed you talk to the site owners in his portfolio. If it’s serious -for heavens sake- contact a real lawyer. Try to solve your problem to the best of your abilities before you start a flame war. You may be right but you might get burned.
"Your black cards can make you money
So you hide them when you're able
In the land of milk and honey
You must put them on the table" *
* Steely Dan "Do It Again" (1972)