Board Etiquette

This article is meant to help teach everyone about being kind to one another and how to keep your cool in a harsh situation. In any business, it is very important to remain level headed and to be completely professional at all times. I can't tell you how many well respected webmasters have ended up losing their reputations over a board dispute.

Now, I don't care what another webmaster says to you, your priority is keeping YOUR reputation intact. You may chose to ignore what someone says, or to write a short, polite reply, or to take the argument to private e-mail, but whatever you do, make sure that anything you write cannot be used against you in any way, shape or form!

I recently saw, on a sponsor's message board, one hosting company spammed the board with their hosting prices. Then another hosting company came along and berated the first company, trying to make it sound as though the first company was lying about their features.

Anyway, the argument ended up making both companies looks completely unprofessional and downright disgraceful. It was shameful. They called each other names and resorted to infantile tactics of, "Oh, yeah? Well you're just a poopy-head!" Okay, so those weren't the exact words, but believe me, it was close. It was sad the way these people acted. Needless to say, I'm not hosting with either of them.

Another thing I see happening quite often is when a newbie comes along with a question or a comment and people jump down their throat.

For example, one newbie comes to a board and complains that he cannot find a sponsor that pays more often than bi-weekly. Instead of receiving the URL's to a few sponsors as he had hoped, he is confronted with a slew of messages basically telling him that if he doesn't like it, to go back to working at McDonald's and shut up. Or a new webmaster comes along and posts the URL of his first site for review and he happens to have a bestiality sponsor on the page. He usually is not politely told that bestiality is illegal and that he should remove the banner as soon as possible, but he is attacked, called a sicko and made to feel horrible.

Some people still defend their actions.

For example, once I saw a newbie ask for a site review on one of the message boards. After a day or so, no one had reviewed the site and he politely asked again, mentioning that no one had reviewed it before. Someone came up with the answer that perhaps his site was not reviewed because it sucked and that no one felt like accomplishing the impossible task of teach a lame horse to walk. After that someone came along and mentioned that what that webmaster said was rude, and the webmaster actually had the nerve to defend his actions. After being terse and rude for no good reason, he said that he felt totally justified because the site was horrible and has obviously been done by a complete moron.

I only wish I could have seen THAT guy's first attempt at a website. I'd be willing to be it was probably just as bad.

I'm going to attempt to come up with some basic rules of etiquette for everyone to follow. Using this list you can make judgments about what to say, and when and where to say it. You can also use this as a guideline to judge whether or not something that someone else says is out of line.

RULES OF ETIQUETTE

1. The most important rule to observe is treating others the way you would want and expect to be treated yourself.

2. Think before you speak. Before you post a message, read it two or three times to be sure it's really what you want to say, and be sure it's not rude!

3. Let the other guy think he's won. If you find yourself in some kind of argument on a board and another webmaster starts to put you down, you should be short and to the point, simply telling him that he has full right to feel however he wants to feel, but that you too have your opinions and that you have just as much right to express it as he does. Tell him that you don't see any point in arguing any further with him, and that as a professional, you have better things to do with your time than arguing with someone who is being rude and unprofessional. Be the better man (or woman!)

4. Never, ever, EVER call someone a name. Never use words like stupid, idiot, jerk, moron, freak, sick, asshole or punk. Doing such is completely unprofessional and juvenile. I don't care what the circumstances are! Don't even say that something that someone DID was stupid. Maybe it was, but you don't have to say it. If you feel you must say something, the best thing to do is to tell the person you think he may have made a slight error in judgment that you're sure he will want to correct. Make the other person feel like you're pointing out his mistake to be helpful, not to criticize! The point is to never make yourself appear unprofessional, and name calling is one sure fire way to look like a little kid.

If you discover a content provider that may have stolen content for sale, e-mail them and ask them about it, don't just post a message to the board alerting everyone that the company is a fraud! Perhaps the company bought the rights to it from someone else. If you have a check from a sponsor go missing, don't post to the boards that the company is a fraud! E-mail the company as wait at least three days for a response, then e-mail them again. Wait another three days and if they still don't get back in touch with you, try to find their telephone number. If there is not one on the site, look up their information in WHOIS under their domain name.

Do not take it to a public forum until you have used every possible means to resolve your dispute and have evidence that the company is indeed a fraud.

My advice it to keep trying to resolve the problem for one month before jumping to conclusions. Don't even hint that you suspect anything is wrong until this time. This includes questioning the sponsor's honesty in public. The only time you should take a problem to a public forum immediately is if the problem immediately effects other webmasters that you know may frequent the boards.

For example, if you discover someone hotlinking a few of your pictures, and you notice that they are hotlinking off several other domains, you can post the URL to a public forum and alert other webmaster to check that URL and see if they are also being hotlinked.

Or if you find a password site with working passwords to several well-known paysites, you may wish to take it public if you cannot contact all the sites privately through e-mail. Things like this are of urgent importance to the community.

However, you should at least make one attempt to contact the webmaster of the site in question before taking it public. It could be through some bizarre circumstances that the webmaster was unaware of the problem, or that whatever happened was just a complete coincidence or an accident, or perhaps totally legitimate.

6. Never report child pornography or other illegal material directly to the forum. Doing this you risk other webmasters of questionable morals finding the site and using it to their benefit by taking the content. Never risk spreading this type of material. Report it directly to the authorities immediately. By reporting it to the forums, you run the risk of people wondering how you came across the site, and you risk spreading it even further.

7. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. If you find yourself to the point where you just don't think that anything you could say would benefit the situation or if you feel that you are too angry to make any rational decisions as to what to say, don't post anything. Wait until you've calmed down, or until you have something valuable to add to the conversation.

Never make a post that doesn't have at least one nice thing in it. If you post a site review and rip the site to shreds, remember to tell the webmaster that you are only trying to be helpful and that you liked his choice of colors, for example. Put a little something nice into everything. Even if you are very angry at someone, you can post your feelings if you have to, but be sure to at least add that you understand that the other webmaster is upset too, and that it's okay for him to be upset. Tell him your side, and mention that he is perfectly free to add his opinions as long as he does it in a calm and professional manner as you have done.

There are the basics. Follow these rules and use your own judgment. And if someone refers you here because they think you've stepped out of line, think about it. Maybe you did. Then again, maybe you didn't, but always be open to the thought that everyone has faults, everyone makes mistakes, and it's NEVER too late to apologize and change your ways!