Yeah, yeah. Lying is bad. Give your industry some respect. You do it. You need to own it. There's nothing wrong with porn and adult webmasters work in a perfectly legal profession, pay their taxes and have nothing to be ashamed about. It's time we stopped being afraid of the hand-wringers, pearl-clutchers and hypocritical moralizers. We're the web's most successful business model and everything that works on the net, works because we made it work. Stand proud. Say it loud: "I am an Internet pornographer!"
Uh. Good luck with that.
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"It's one thing to tell your secrets to your trusted friends and family. It's a different kettle of fish to go bragging to your entire community that you deal in the commercial side of people fucking each other." |
While some of us are lucky enough to live in large cities and parts of the world where being a smutmonger ain't no big thang, there are thousands more of us who live in smaller towns, full of church-going puritans who equate adult entertainment with the devil himself. What's more we're always under the watchful eyes of local legislators and law enforcement officials who would like nothing better than to announce obscenity arrests and indictments.
Lying about your job is bad but financial ruin is worse. It's one thing to tell your secrets to your trusted friends and family. It's a different kettle of fish to go bragging to your entire community that you deal in the commercial side of people fucking each other.
If you haven't had to deal with this yet, just wait. You will. It can be an innocent moment. You're at the bank and the teller looks curiously at your collection of checks from sponsors. He or she asks you flat out: "What do you do?" Or maybe you've struck up a conversation with that nice lady at the grocery store. She mentions troubles with her job and you smile and tell her that you're self employed. Then, sure as sunshine, she'll ask you: "What do you do?" You want to rent a nice apartment with your awesome porn money. The landlord gives a form and there before your eyes is a big, blank space where you're supposed to fill out the name of your employer. You write in self-employed and what else? The landlord looks at that detail and looks at you and asks: "What do you do?"
What do you do indeed. How are you going to answer one of the most common questions people ask? Is this the moment you come clean? Are you kidding? Are you willing to risk losing that apartment? Are you brave enough to face the consequences when that nice lady at the grocery store tells her entire church congregation? Did it occur to you that the teller at your bank might complain to the bank manager? Maybe you're up for the potential hell you'll catch but some of us would rather tell little white lies. White lies because it's not necessary to tell a complete whopper. There are ways to tell the truth without telling the whole truth. Here are some classic example of how to answer the "profession" question:
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Truth is, most people don't really give a damn about the details of your job. Mostly, they just want to know that you're a respectable, employed member of society. Usually, people are passing the time with pleasant conversation. The more fascinating your job, the more you peak a stranger's curiosity. Keep it boring. Keep it simple. Tell folks that you're a consultant. If they push further, tell them you're a marketing consultant, specializing in the Internet. If they get excited and ask you for advice, tell them you're very busy and not taking on new clients. Chances are, most people won't ask past your first reply of Consultant.
Absolutely not a lie. An adult webmaster is an Internet marketer. Instead of marketing widgets or doodads, you market porn. But you don't have to tell anyone that. Nine times out of ten, most people haven't got a clue what an Internet market does. If you give this answer, the person will usually smile, pretend to understand and change the subject.
Another complete truth. You are, in fact, a webmaster/designer. This is a tricky answer because people will often ask you what websites you've created. This is a good time to suggest that you create a dummy, mainstream site. Go all out, print business cards with the URL. If people want to hire you, all you have to do is tell them you've got enough customers and no time for new projects. That dummy site can even be your real business name if you're at the point where you're ready to go LLC. It's also helpful in your real work to have one, constant website and business name.
Yes. Lying is bad but as you've seen, you don't need to lie. When it comes to avoiding trouble with your job as an Internet pornographer, it's what you don't tell people that matters. Think about what you're going to tell those nosy folk when they try to pin you down. Have your answers at the ready and be prepared for the follow-up questions. It's not hard as long as you tell the truth without telling too much.