Porn is easy. Comedy is hard.
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"The punchline is that the veterans are way ahead of you and your porn means nothing without personality. One of the best ways to personalize your site is with humor." |
Actually, some people are very funny. Some folks have a talent for making others laugh or at least, grin. Maybe you’re one of those people. Maybe you’re not. Whoever you are, chances are you like a good laugh as much as any surfer.
The joke is that while sex sells very well on the Internet, there are hundreds of thousands of sites and tens of thousands of webmasters selling pretty much the same thing images and video of people performing sex acts. You have to find a way to reach and keep surfers in a market so saturated that even the niches are filled with pros. The punchline is that the veterans are way ahead of you and your porn means nothing without personality. One of the best ways to personalize your site is with humor.
Humans like sex. Humans like porn. Humans like the Internet. Humans like to search the Internet for sex and porn. Humans like to laugh. Humans want to laugh. Humans automatically want to keep laughing because it feels damned good, almost as good as sex. Humans like to search the Internet for things that make them laugh. Can you tell where I’m going with this?
Whether you’re building a gallery, free site, paysite, blog or AVS, you want to give your surfers something that will stick in their minds. You need to put your visitors at ease so they will open their wallets. Any old webmaster can slap up a bunch of gangbang shots and blowjob vids. We all do our best to make pages that are easy to navigate and easy to find. I know the secret. You know the secret. Hell I’ll give you the foolproof steps to Cyberporn Riches Right Now!
1. Make a website of porn and upload that site to the web.
2. Market that site.
3. Get Traffic
4. Figure out who pays and what converts and keep doing that daily.
See? Now don’t you feel like a clown? Ain’t it funny? That’s all there is to it! Ha ha!
Seriously, you can’t go anywhere until you take the first step and the first step is always step one. Make a website of porn. Stop.
Before you do anything else, you must choose what type of site or page your going to make.
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Naturally, you want to build a page or site that’s going to generate money for you. Why not make it a funny free site? A campy paysite? A somewhat amusing gallery? Why not put your tongue firmly in your cheek while you serve up clips of cunts, dicks, butts and boobs? How about embellishing that goth blog with emo-poseur ennui? You don’t have to make them ROTFLMAO. A :) will do just fine. The point is that porn surfers are almost as jaded as adult webmasters are. They wank off to our free pages, galleries and sample pics and the ones that leave feel no guilt whatsoever. If you front your visitors a little humor, they will be grateful.
Grateful = Bookmarkers and Signups.
There are almost as many ways to inject comedy into a porn page as there are permutations of the sex act. What is funny depends on your content and your target audience. A Bondage site doesn’t sound like a platform for hilarity but if you understand Bondage fans, then you’ll know what makes them snicker. You don’t have to be mean spirited with your humor - unless your target is mean-spirited fun fans. You don’t have to make every line of text a joke. Heck, if you’re plain incapable of summoning the giddy gods, you can buy some joke content or lease some hilarious toons. The journey goes right back to the first movement of step one.
What kind of site or page are you building? Can you use humor in any way that will jive with the content you post and the surfers you hope to impress? Is funny the way to go? Would a joke and cartoon section fit into the ambience of your reality hub? Will your subtle, cerebral touches be understood your will you confuse the hell out of your visitors?
Maybe you could build a site so awful that it’s laughable. You might look silly but think of how great your sponsors will look compared to doofus you? You can finish step one an upload your site. You can move on through to steps 2 and 3 but you’ll never complete the last step without starting off on the right foot.
So, put on some clown shoes and be a bozo. Go on, squeeze the wheeze. So what if you fall on your face? At least be you’ll laughing. Maybe if you tweak them just right, your surfers will laugh right along with you to the bank!