From the descriptions you hear by webmasters who’ve gone, adult conventions sound like gargantuan orgy parties. In most ways, adult professional gatherings are like non-adult trade shows and conferences. There are seminars, promotional freebies , networking and a social event or two. The big difference -when it comes to conventions - between other professions and ours is that ours has naked babes.

"Adult webmaster gatherings and conferences have mythical reputations in the minds of the uninitiated."

It’s positively pagan to realize that when large adult companies come to the party, they are expected to provide models who get naked and perform sex acts. Sometimes the gatherings of porn peddlers are small and the models don’t come; yet somehow tits get found , pictures are taken then broadcast over the Internet. There’s many a Penthouse letter about the casual sex to be had at business conventions in general. Adult conventions have that illicit, anonymous sex but they also include sex as a presumed occurrence.

With all this sex going to happen right before innocent eyes, it’s a wonder the new attendee adult webmaster remembers to pack at all. The poor kid has been fed picture after picture of his peers and friends grabbing tit and twat and he is gonna get him some, dammit.

Are you going to one of these bacchanalian fests of business and pleasure on a maiden voyage? There’s one happening practically every weekend you know. Somewhere soon, some adult webmasters will get together, talk business, make friends, talk porn and quite possibly see boobs. Those boobs might belong to drunken webmasters but boobs will be shown.

Adult webmaster gatherings and conferences have mythical reputations in the minds of the uninitiated. The planets have aligned and the right convention in the right city is just around the corner and you’re going. You might have to travel a long distance or it could luckily be scheduled in your town. This time you get to attend and nothing will stop you. Before you go flying out the door with visions off porn stars dancing in your head, breathe. Then remember some stuff you might forget in your perverted zeal to see the titties:

Money

It’s the root of all evil and the source of all that is fun. You know you’re going to need it but maybe you need to think about exactly what you’ll encounter money -wise. Depending on the size of the affair, you might have to shell out the cash for entrée to certain events. All the big conventions charge an access fee for the floorshow plus an additional fee to attend seminars.

Parties that are sponsored by some adult professionals might be free to attend but you might have to pay for drinks or possibly dinner. Those strippers you encounter either at the conventions could be working for tips and they’re much nicer if your give em a little green.

Adult webmasters generally have a good reputation among service types and you’ re always treated better if you throw out a bit of coin. You could come across the content deal of your life or a hosting package at a gathering. If you’re bringing enough for the bare necessities, bring more. Be careful of what kind of money you take with you on any trip. Credit and debit cards might seem convenient but you sure don’t want to lose yours when you're away from home. Big wads of cash aren’t good to wave around in strange cities either. As lame as it may sound and as hard as they are to cash, traveler’s checks are a pretty safe bet.

Gadgets

Your laptop, your PDA or your cell phone. Are you going to bring them? Traveling around with hardware and electronics has always been tricky from the old days of frying hard-drives in x-ray machines and the cruelties of baggage handlers. You absolutely have to bring a camera ­preferably digital- and traveling is a lot more difficult due to terrorism. What if you snap that picture of the bad guy they caught at the airport and your digicam is confiscated for evidence? That scenario is highly unlikely but we live in a technological age with technological criminals. Whatever cool gizmos you bring take care they are replaceable.

It’s almost unbearable for a webmaster to go without their PC-related toys but maybe you really shouldn’t pack that Notebook when a handheld will suffice.

You

Duh. The thing is, you are coming but are you sure you’re not forgetting something ? How will you display the best "you" to your industry? What about something that represents you to potential business associates? There will be a lot going on and a simple handshake is nice but it’s hardly memorable after all the hubbub. Get thee to the printer and fire off some business cards for the occasion. Burn some of that fabulous toon content you’ve been creating onto a few CDs and don’t forget to bring some licenses. You could make a sale. You might get a new job, if only you had remembered to bring along a resume. Everyone wants to know what you "do" at these things. Do yourself a favor. Bring some proof.

Space

An empty duffel bag will be a welcome item after the event is over. The big conferences especially house booths and booths leased by adult-related companies who give away tons of freebies. T-shirts, mousepads, baseball caps and almost anything that can be imagined and imprinted will be there for the taking. In fact, those shopping bags come in terribly handy for containing the mounds of porn related give-aways. Oh yeah, baby.

There will be titties and boobies and more titties and more boobies, that’s a prime benefit of working in this field. The thought of the potential for good old-fashioned Romanesque debauchery can cloud any mind. Before you head out on the road to Rome, catch your breath, check your pulse and remember to be prepared.