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"There is no reason any females should feel intimidated going to a show solo if that's what business requires. Empower yourself and go without fear." |
I'd like to take some time to deter from my usual traffic related topics to talk about something rarely brought up in the adult internet industry. Being in this business since 1998 I have been lucky to have had a significant other whom also works in the business. So over the years servicing adult webmasters I have traveled to well over 10 shows with my partner and have never needed to actually fly out and attend a show alone. That is, until recently.
When a female webmaster (or talent) in this business has to fly out to an unfamiliar city to a tradeshow or gathering not knowing what environment to expect or quite sure whom they will meet (known or unknown), it can be intimidating and there is a lot to think about. How many guys in this business would want their wife, sister, or girlfriend going to an adult tradeshow alone? In an industry that both empowers and degrades women, there are a lot of issues and scenarios that can run through your mind. I'd like to take this opportunity to talk about basic safety tips, thoughts, perspectives, and try to offer some advice that can make anyone in this industry feel more confident when attending a trade show alone. So this one's for the ladies.
Tip #1: Know Before You Go
Mindset is very important when planning to make your trip a success. Remember – this is a business and 98% of those attending are going to do business. Once you know that you will be going to a show alone there are some steps you can take to help you feel more confident about it. Check the boards and find out how many familiar names or colleagues that you already know will be attending. Plan to meet up with them, exchange as many numbers as you can, and if you can find other gal-pals who will be attending let them know you will be going alone and build up your own network of friends you can depend on once you get there.
Do some research on the location you will be staying, layout of the hotel, and if you can, request a room that is easily accessible to the elevators or in an open location rather than down a long, secluded hallway. Get to know the local terrain of the location you will be staying and the locations of any off-site events.
Do not advertise the fact that you are there alone to people you do not know (or just met) before or after you get there. I hate to say it, but dressing down can help. If you can go casual you will tend to fit in and be seen as a “female webmaster” rather than talent that some people feel they can treat unprofessionally (extremely unfortunate considering how we make money in this business). Remember, if you look for trouble you're going to find it so travel In groups when possible and avoid inviting anyone to your room alone or any late night invitations to others rooms.
Some people change drastically after they have been drinking, so it's always be on the look out for obvious drunks and keep your distance. Sometimes the most unexpected advances can come from the people you least expect to act unprofessionally in public or private places. To protect yourself from others and to stay in control, watch your drinking and watch your drinks – never leave your drink unattended or drink a drink you did not see poured. We've all heard stories about drugs being slipped in drinks or giving girls laced substances – be on the look out. You don't have to be paranoid but if you feel yourself feeling abnormal tell someone (like a gal-pal or trusted friend) and have them escort you to your room and lock up.
Tip #4: Time for Yourself
Since you are there to do business, acting like a paperweight in your room because of fear or paranoia is just a waste of time, money and opportunity for you and your company, and there is truly no need to go that far. However, if you attempt to spend 100% of your time putting yourself out there you can burn own by the second day or worse – sick. Be sure to take some down-time for yourself at least once a day. Breakfast or lunch in your room by yourself can help you collect your thoughts and plan your day and evening, as well as give you some time to think and pamper yourself. This is also an important time to make any phone calls, check your email, and take care of any business you need to do. Shows can be stressful and draining and you do no favor to yourself or your company unless you allow yourself time to recharge back to top form for another day of great networking.
When in your room follow the basic safety tips suggested by all hotels – lock and chain or bolt your door. If you do not want a morning intrusion put that Do Not Disturb sign on your door. There's nothing more alarming than being surprised by a maid walking in on you after a shower! Before you leave your room or go to bed make sure to check any sliding doors and windows as well. When returning to your room, day or night, make sure you are not being followed or that there is no one around you that you do not want to enter when unlocking your door – minimizing the chance for forced entries. When going to get ice or vending, never leave your door unlocked – have your key on you at all times. Try not to flash cash, expensive equipment, or any body parts LOL. And finally, if you go to any off site events or dining travel in groups and always have enough cab money to get yourself back to the hotel if you feel uncomfortable.
Most of this is simply common sense, but when you get caught up in the excitement and energy of a show it's easy to get lost in it all. There are many people in this industry who look out for one another and are willing to help if any problems arise. There is no reason any females should feel intimidated going to a show solo if that's what business requires. Empower yourself and go without fear. Basic street smarts that hold true in any situation can help you feel more confident and allow you to shine with the ideas and energy that sustains your true personality. Go, grow, and have fun!
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